Listen to feedback

Not know what you’re doing right, or otherwise? Ask them.

Us aspies often know what works, and what doesn’t for management. We can be a goldmine; and will quite often divulge this for the benefit of others.

It’s easiest to start with a recent example. Take a recent job, and ask them what went well and what didn’t. Is there a reason it went pearshaped, or well?

Take one of these, and consider it in the context of the next job. Perhaps this can be repeated, to copy the success from before. As a case study, it makes a practical, realistic way to improve.

We don’t expect our managers to know everything about us inside & out. We do expect our managers to learn and adapt.

It’s a two way process which requires trust. Don’t abuse that trust. Listen carefully, and take it on board. If you constantly avoid the issue, shut it down or refuse to treat them with basic courtesy, you will lose that perfect trust.

Focus on the risk factors

When you are managing an aspie, look at the risk factors that can cause confusion. Don’t read too much into whether the subject matter itself is clear.

Think of it like driving. Driving is much safer in developed countries than 50 years ago. How did this happen? Two words: risk factors. Governments researched the connection between collisions and circumstances. What did collisions or fatalities have in common?

It was things like alcohol, speeding and mobile phones. Through the years, these have become less common in for drivers. Not long ago, it was quite acceptable to drink alcohol before driving. It no longer is. It has substantially improved road safety.

Think about that. Have you had a collision, and blamed the other driver? The blame game works when somebody has to pay up, but it doesn’t prevent collisions in the first place.

Consider the case of a child crossing the road. Suppose schools taught our children if you cross the road when a car is coming and get run over, it’s your fault. Sound ludicrous? That’s because it wouldn’t work; the kid is dead by that stage. Instead, we teach children stop, look, listen or push the button, wait for the green man.

We are only human, and we make mistakes. We address the risk factors, raise awareness, and implement solutions whether or not the solution is where the fault is. Books like Unsafe at Any Speed
(1965) revolutionised our understanding, by publicising car designs which were dangerous.

How does this apply to communication? By looking at which risk factors cause confusion, we can manage them and make communication clearer.

Here’s world famous example. Two jumbo jets collided on a runway in Tenerife, in 1977. Almost 600 lives were lost. Investigators ruled that the collision had been exacerbated by unclear communication. The captain of the KLM jet, the Dutch flag carrier, thought he was cleared for takeoff. He was not. Across the industry, aircrew also reported an unwillingness to confront their captains with concerns. The captain was always right.

583 lives was a hefty price, but it ultimately transformed aviation. The word takeoff is now sacred. Only Air Traffic Control can say it, and only when saying to an aircraft you are cleared for takeoff. It is strict, but it leaves no room for doubt. It is now entirely appropriate for a First Officer to challenge their Captain. Safety is more important than politeness.

In the office, whilst the risk factors are different the principle is identical. It might include being copied into emails or clear lines of responsibility; it depends on the environment. Sometimes it is simple, like a café referring to an Americano always as an Americano, never a filter coffee. Ask the aspie what they are, or to think about these factors, or observe for yourself.

I’m not saying that the aspie should always be copied into all emails, or indeed that doing so makes everything clear. I am saying that if you do copy the aspie into emails which apply to them, it will usually pay back well. It is certainly more useful than a checkbox exercise, avoiding a certain choice of words, or asking is that clear?